Most modern marriages are plagued with conflict and irreconcilable differences, making accepting divorce and moving on all the more difficult. In contemporary society, the divorce rate has risen to 50% of married couples in the U.S. alone. The reasons for divorces vary substantially. Causes range from a lack of shared interests to substance and domestic abuse. The realization that divorce is inevitable for most couples is the first critical step toward accepting this outcome and moving on.
The bone of contention is whether spouses can be amicable in divorce proceedings and how they can reach a consensus without conflict. The emotional nature of divorces makes it difficult for two parties to agree on specific issues. It is common for warring factions to fight over custody, assets, and other shared interests. The fundamental question is how does one accept divorce and move on? This topic has several angles. Considerations such as child welfare are the primary consideration when reaching a consensus.
Moving on requires forgetting the past and looking at the bigger picture. Regardless of the circumstances involved in the separation, spouses must figure out a way to move on without incident. An obsession with the past is one issue that results in depression and rash decisions. Most marriages have a lot of time, energy, and financial investment. This makes it tough to pack a bag and leave. This concern is why a divorce attorney is required to smoothen the process and ensure both parties have adequate representation.
Divorce Statistics You Should Know About
According to the Washington State Department of Health, the U.S. has the 6th highest divorce rate globally. While there is a slight decline in divorce rates for couples aged 35 and below, the figure still stands at a 41% separation rate. The study also shows that 60% of second and 70% of third marriages end in divorce. These figures indicate that the divorce rate for women has doubled in the last 60 years.
Research published by the Journal of Gerontology indicates that 25% of divorces are by people aged 50 and over. A staggering statistic is that one divorce happens every 16 seconds in the U.S, and there are over 172 every 2 hours. Wilkinson and Finkbeiner’s Divorce and Family law firm carried out over 115 studies of U.S couples and established that the average length of most first marriages is just eight years. These studies also show that 60% of divorces are for people aged 25-30. Same-sex marriages are also included in these statistics. Only about 1% of these couples get divorced annually at a rate of 3.1 per 1000 people. The rate for straight couples is marginally higher. This is because there are significantly more straight couple marriages.
The divorce rate of couples with children below 10 years is 25%. This statistic shows that young kids are the most affected physically and mentally by this process. Many couples drag their children through the excruciating process of watching their families torn apart. These are only some of the surprising facts that most people should know. There have been several cultural and behavioral differences between different age groups. Surprisingly, several studies indicate the divorce rate for people in their 50s is double that of 25 to 32-year-olds.
The ideal has shifted from marriage as an institution to becoming a simple matter of convenience. While divorce was unheard of in the 1960s, it is now commonplace in many countries worldwide. What are some of the primary causes of divorces in 2022?
Primary Causes of Divorce
If you’re having trouble accepting divorce and moving on, you’re not alone. A shift in beliefs has eliminated the idea of marriage as a lifelong commitment. This principle is the primary reason many modern marriages fail. Lack of commitment accounts for 73% of most divorces and is the crucial reason most marriages fail. The anxiety caused by this deficit creates an uncomfortable situation where spouses become unable to cohabit. According to many respondents in a recent study by Divorce Net, constant conflict, substance abuse, and infidelity accounted for more than 50% of divorces. It’s critical to note that many of these respondents cited several different reasons, but these are some of the most common.
Other reasons, such as early marriages, domestic abuse, and a lack of equality were also listed as reasons for several breakups. Financial issues also make this list as the contributors to many divorces today. Money problems account for between 14% and 34% of divorces, with a lack of employment being the fundamental cause for dispute. Some couples also listed health problems and a lack of family support. There are several other reasons, such as religious differences and an advent lack of marriage education.
Understanding the reasons for divorce is critical in determining how to deal with it and move on. It is an emotional and frustrating process that affects spouses, their families, and, most importantly, the children. Couples must figure out a way to go through the process without incident. Accepting divorce and moving on is a complex and capital-intensive process that requires a lot of patience. You need to find the best family attorney to evaluate your case and ensure you get proper counsel.
Here are 10 critical tips for accepting divorce and moving on.
Take Time to Make Critical Decisions
A divorce is a life-changing event. Regardless of your grievances, don’t make crucial decisions impulsively. Consult your local divorce lawyers before choosing a direction. Note that every decision has consequences.
Think of the Kids
Minors are the most affected during divorce proceedings. Anything you do will drastically impact their mental health. Be amicable with your spouse and consider your children’s best interests. Carefully weigh your statements and prioritize their needs before your own.
Consider Therapy
Although there may be irreconcilable differences, consider that you shared a significant part of your life with your spouse. Accepting divorce and moving on requires the ability to let go of pain, betrayal, and overwhelming sadness. It also means braving uncertainty and the fear of a new chapter in life. These processes are mentally unsettling and require extra help. Therapy is a critical step in the divorce recovery process. After the marriage ends, recovering and moving on is physically, mentally, and financially draining. You and your children require this resource to help cope with these stresses and eliminate feelings of personal failure. Therapy assessments will help evaluate your state of mind and how to cope with that sense of loss.
Practice Acceptance
Everyone considers marriage a lifelong commitment. Losing someone you love can cause shock and depression and is a hard pill to swallow. The first step towards accepting divorce and moving on is accepting the circumstances. Be comforted that you tried your best and that it is time to move on to the next chapter. Spend time with your kids and reach out to family members for support. It may take time, but practicing acceptance is the best way to begin the healing process. Connecting with loved ones is the most effective way to get through a divorce.
Have a Good Co-Parenting Plan
Cooperation between parents is the best way to ensure your kids get the love and care they deserve. Establishing an effective co-parenting plan will facilitate a cordial relationship between you and your partner. According to a study published by the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, shared physical custody contributes tremendously to your children’s behavioral, mental, and physical health. Allowing each parent enough time with the children also contributes to healthy development. Divorced parents should put aside their differences and prioritize their children’s needs despite their differences.
Embrace Transition
Accepting divorce and moving on is a transitional stage that will require a lot of patience. It involves moving out of your matrimonial home and beginning a new life. You may need to change your circle of friends and do some reflection. It is not an easy process. You may need to hire a moving and storage company to help you make this process less stressful. It also involves trying out new activities and keeping your mind occupied. Remember that a divorce can affect your mental health.
You will need to consider alternative ways to occupy your time. It’s also critical to enter a support group of people with similar experiences to help you through this transition. The aim is to forget the past and focus on future possibilities. Don’t be shy to try out new things. Most importantly, ensure you spend time with your kids to help them maneuver these challenging times.
Do Some Soul Searching
Most people blame themselves when a breakup happens. It is this regret that makes them jump into new relationships prematurely. Up to 60% of these relationships fail during the first quarter. While there is no specific time frame, counselors advise divorcees to take time before dating. The primary goal is to reflect on past failures and determine what went wrong.
It’s also time to heal and prioritize your individual needs. Being alone can be terrifying at first, but it is essential to finding yourself. Jumping into a new relationship will cause several complications. People compare their new partners to their exes and find emotional commitment complicated. You also sideline your needs to satisfy your new partner because you fear loss. Taking time will allow you to properly grieve and establish ways to cope with this loss.
Reinvent Yourself
For accepting divorce and moving on, it’s time to realize that you’re not married anymore. The best way to accept divorce and move on is to acknowledge that your lifestyle has changed significantly. It is necessary to plan your life after the divorce. All your activities and hobbies have changed at this point. Focus on yourself as an individual and use this as the first step in self-discovery. Rediscover past adventures, reconnect with old friends, and occupy your mind with the prospect of a new life. Try some massage therapy to ease your tension and find new ways to make yourself happy. You can even go to a beauty salon and give yourself that overdue makeover. Anything that will help kick starts your new life.
Try Settling Out Of Court
Another tip for accepting divorce and moving on involves the negotiation process. It is an opportunity for you and your partner to agree on how to split assets and responsibilities. Divorce lawyers act as mediators in this process, and they help spouses come to an amicable arrangement. The hardest part is getting two people to agree on a specific arrangement. Court cases are costly and time intensive. Experts advise couples to try everything possible to resolve their differences with no court proceedings.
A qualified estate lawyer can solve any asset disputes. Note that a divorce is not a war. You can settle your differences through face-to-face negotiations. This process is cheaper and an effective way to establish a mutual understanding. Court cases can get messy as each spouse tries to discredit the other.
Practice Mutual Respect and Self-Awareness
It is critical to note that both parties had a part to play in the breakup. Once established, you and your partner can join hands by accommodating each other’s concerns and practicing mutual respect. It is crucial to identify the best way to move forward for the sake of your children. This process facilitates a negotiation process that considers everyone’s well-being and seeks a solution that benefits all parties. Regardless of your differences, give each other the respect and consideration that constitutes conscious uncoupling. According to Gwyneth Paltrow, this technique makes divorce less stressful.
Moving on from a divorce is tough, so use these tips for accepting divorce and moving on. Divorce has several mental and physical effects that will affect your ability to function. The good news, you are not alone. Thousands of people find effective ways to recover and live fulfilling lives. With a support system, friends and family, you will easily make the transition and get your life back on track. Establish a new set of practices that will push you through this new chapter.
