Divorce is never easy. Whether it was an amicable breakup or a situation that threatened your safety, divorce can leave lasting wounds from which are hard to heal.
Moving on with life after divorce might seem impossible in the first few weeks, months, or even years following your breakup. But there is hope. Statistics show that as many as 40% to 50% of marriages end in divorce and those numerous people have managed to pick themselves back up following this rough time.
Whether that means focusing on your health, your job, or your children, there is a slew of ways to find closure and start living for yourself again. Here are some of the best tips you should follow when it comes to moving on with life after divorce.
Erase reminders
There are some parts of a relationship that you’ll never be able to erase. The memories might fade but they’ll always be there. If you’re tired of constant reminders of your ex, in the wise words of Eminem, it might be time to clean out your closet.
The first thing you should do is rid yourself of your wedding ring. Visiting a local pawn shop might be the perfect way to get that ring out of your circle of influence. It can also help you to earn a little money to invest in new jewelry to treat yourself after your divorce.
But there might be countless other reminders after your divorce that you’d rather forget. Items that your ex bought you, items that you invested in together, and even the house that you live in might all cause you to hurt.
If you happen to have a lot of goods that you need to get rid of, consider renting a roll off dumpster to toss the goods that you can’t sell or donate. In most cases, you can earn a couple of bucks for the bedframe that you once shared or the dining set that housed countless family dinners, especially if they’re in good shape. Any gifts that take the form of clothing items can be donated to local shelters or sold to people online. In the time of COVID-19, taking great pictures of your items and posting them online is essential. Since few people want to go to garage sales, the internet will be your best friend when it’s time to purge your home of unwanted goods.
You simply don’t need these reminders if you have the funds to fuel new items. You don’t need to feel bad about selling your old phone to buy certified apple devices if the memories are too painful. Starting fresh is key, so don’t be afraid to sell, donate, and dump as needed. This is especially true if you’d rather find a new house.
Sell your home
If you’re thinking I want to sell my house fast, you’re not alone. Moving on with life after divorce sometimes means that you have to move — literally. Most people don’t want to stay in the home that they shared with an ex, even if their spouse is the one who chose to move out. This big reminder can be painful and starting fresh somewhere new might be the perfect remedy to a broken heart.
Here are some of the best ways to sell your old home and buy a new house:
- List it online and take excellent pictures. Just like you want to sell your goods online, pictures say a thousand words. Whether you’re hoping to rent out your home or sell it outright, clean it up and take great photos before posting it online.
- Rely on a realtor to sort out the complicated details. Selling on your own can be a hassle, especially when you’re coping with the stress of a divorce. Rely on a professional to take the hard work off of your shoulders when you’re dealing with a difficult time.
- Search for new houses in the area or somewhere new. Now that you have no ties to your current home, it’s time to start thinking about where you want to live. Do you want to stay here? Move back home? Move closer to your family? Some people choose to move to a new town since their current city harbors countless memories. Think about what you want: do you want to live near a park or close to the beach? Nothing is stopping you now.
- Take control by building your own home. If you have the funds, this could be an amazing project. Home building services are the best way to take control of your home and its layout. Whether you’re building a home from the ground up or remodeling a fixer-upper, these professionals can help you take control.
Finding a new home can be full of trials and errors. Take your time so you don’t get overwhelmed.
Focus on your self-esteem
One of the worst things about a divorce is the lack of self-esteem you might feel. After all, being with one person for so long can make you feel insecure when they’re gone. When you finally want to date again, a lack of self-esteem can hold you back, but this lack can also affect you even when you don’t want to date. You might just have negative feelings about yourself because your marriage “failed.” You might become overly self-critical because of the choices that you made during your marriage. Regardless, improving your confidence is one of the best ways that you’ll be able to move on post-breakup.
Building up your self-confidence is key for moving on with life after divorce but it will take time and more than a little effort. But your divorce doesn’t mean that you failed. You’re a completely loveable person that deserves their friendships, family members, and future relationships. Here are some of the best ways to regain your self-confidence and start living for you:
- Go to therapy: Working through your emotions is essential but it can seem impossible to do on your own. Instead of slogging through feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression, relying on a therapist can give you the right coping mechanisms to feel better. Remember that you won’t magically feel perfect again after one session. Therapy is a tool that’s designed to help you improve over time. Whether you want to vent about your relationship, cope with your feelings, or make a plan for the future, a trained therapist can help you do all of the above.
- Work on your fitness: There’s truth to the idea that exercise breeds good habits. Regular exercise can improve your mental health along with your physical health. When your body is stronger, you might also feel like your mind is stronger. Look for fun pilates classes in your area or consider taking a martial arts class to learn to defend yourself. At the very least, you’ll begin socializing with others and getting your body moving, even if you don’t stick with it. At best, you might have discovered a new hobby that you can’t get enough of.
- Invest in your health: Along with getting fit, improving your self-image is a great way to start moving on with life after divorce. This doesn’t mean that you should necessarily invest in expensive plastic surgery; rather, it might be small things like investing in laser teeth whitening to brighten your smile or taking supplements with breakfast for a boost of nutrients. When you’re looking your best, you’ll be able to feel your best. Do things that make you feel more confident to make each day a little more fun.
- Eat better: It’s classic for recent break-ups to lead to binge-eating ice cream and pizza. And that’s okay! It’s when it becomes a habit that it gets bad. No one should have pizza every day of their life. The old adage “you are what you eat” refers to how the food makes you feel. If you’re fueling your body with fats, oils, and grease, you’ll feel weighed down and lethargic. A simple way to transition to healthier meals is by making substitutes. If you want pizza, try going for a broccoli pizza crust to cut down on the number of carbs you’re consuming. Instead of loaded potatoes as a side dish, swap it out for sweet potatoes. Eventually, these small changes will lead to better eating habits in the long run. You’ll feel better and your self-esteem will follow.
Moving on with life after divorce isn’t easy, but it’s even harder when you’re not feeling good about yourself. Consider those tips to help you regain your confidence over time.
Invest in ways to make you feel calm
One of the worst parts of divorce is the lack of security you might feel. After all, you’ve spent a long time always having someone watch your back. It makes sense that you might feel afloat in a sea of doubt and potential danger when you’re moving on with life after divorce.
If you’re not feeling safe and calm, here are some of the best ways to combat these stressors:
- Adopt a pet: The benefits of adopting a pet are numerous. Not only can a dog alert you when intruders are trying to get into your home, but they’re also ideal for lowering anxiety and feelings of stress. If you’ve never had a dog because of your spouse, now might be the perfect time to get a new furry companion. Check in with your local pet clinic to see if they have any adoptable dogs that you can save. You’ll feel more grounded and taking care of a pet will give you something to do while you’re healing. Just know that taking care of a dog is a big responsibility.
- Try meditating: Meditation is a great way to start being mindful of your life and actions. If you’re feeling like you can’t live in the moment, meditating is key in reducing stress, encouraging mindfulness, and enabling you to become more in tune with your emotions. Try downloading a meditating app or rely on YouTube videos to get started.
- Practice gratitude: When you get a divorce, the whole world might seem…bad. Like there’s no sunshine and that nothing will make this break-up better. That’s why taking a few minutes out of your day to be thankful is essential. Writing down three things that make you smile or make you happy can be a great way to remind yourself that there are good things in the world. You can still be happy without this other person, even if it seems like you can’t. These things that you’re grateful for can be as small as witnessing a cute dog cross the road. It can be as abstract as rejoicing in religion. It can be as simple as going on a walk in the morning. Whatever, it is, writing it down will help make your gratitude more concrete. You can read these later to remind yourself that you love things in life when you’re feeling down.
- Try CBD oil: CBD oil extract is rising in popularity, and for good reason. Lacking THC, CBD gives you all of the calming effects with none of the “high” that people worry about. CBD can help you get to sleep faster or calm you down from a panic attack. Look into the benefits of CBD oil before taking it to get a better idea of what it can do for you.
Moving on with life after divorce
Moving on with life after divorce looks different for everyone. Some people will throw themselves into their hobbies while others will only feel good when they get rid of the reminders of their ex. If you’re struggling with moving on with life after divorce, you’re not alone; rely on these tips to help start the next chapter of your life.
