One of the first known examples of human writing came down to us through the nomadic hunter-gatherers of pre-history. Roughly translated, it reads, “Sick of all the bugs. Decided to invent house.” Trouble was, the bugs followed us in, and we’ve been battling them ever since. Here’s what we’re up against.
The Cockroach — Like That Guy at a Party Who Just Won’t Leave, Even When You Cut His Head Off.
It’s true: cockroaches can survive for a full week with no head. And “headlessness” isn’t even the eventual cause of death for a decapitated cockroach: they only die because they have no mouth anymore and can’t drink water. They’re fast, they’re resourceful, they can hold their breath for forty minutes, they can drive a stick, and they know all your online passwords. If you see one, there are probably eight bajillion more hiding under your fridge.
Solution: Call your local pest control services.
The Termite — Literally Eating You Out of House and Home.
Every year about 600,000 U.S. homes are damaged by termites. That sounds like a lot, until you learn that some estimates of the world’s termite population (which is the worst door-to-door census gig EVER) say that for every single human being on the planet, there are around one thousand termites. That’s the weight of a cow. Think on that a second: there is a cow’s worth of termites for you and every member of your family, and every person in your office, and each person in line at the DMV, and the entire cast of Mr. Belvedere.
Solution: Call your local pest control services. Quickly.
The Bed Bug — Because You Never Really Sleep Alone.
But really that headline shouldn’t say “The Bed Bug,” since there’s always more than one snuggling up to you while you sleep. They can lay around 500 eggs in their lifetime, sometimes up to five in a single day. And if you’re thinking to yourself, “Bed bugs are only a problem for countryfolk out in their covered wagons on the wild frontiers of the unsettled West,” then think again, city slicker: pest control specialists overwhelmingly cite city dwellings as the most common places for bed bugs, with apartments and single-family homes dominating the list. Sweet dreams.
Solution: If you find bed bugs, then for the love of all that is holy and good, call your local pest control services.
You might have sensed a theme here. If you find any of these fun little critters in your house, stop Googling home remedies and just call your local pest control services. They’ve got better tools than you, more experience than you, and will do what it takes to get rid of your pests for good.
Have you had a close encounter of the six-legged kind? Do you have a terrifying tale of infestation? Or a funny one that your neighbor went through and you got to watch? Feel free to leave it in the comments section below.